Researching can't fix it.

After I got diagnosed, I spent a lot of my free, and even some not free time on the internet, researching and reading. I read a bunch of articles, read Lymie blogs, watched the Lyme documentary called Under Our Skin, looked up Lyme awareness pictures, even looked at Lyme awareness gear.

When I heard what I had, I knew next to nothing about Lyme. I wanted to change that, and more than that, I wanted to fix myself. Lyme's sounded scary, and I didn't want it for very long.

I did learn a LOT about Lyme, all the symptoms, the controversy, read many's stories, and had a whole folder of Lyme awareness pictures saved on my computer.

But while I am grateful for what I learned, after awhile it was just reading and seeing the same thing over and over again. I kept going, subconsciously thinking that I would find the cure and cure myself just by reading it.

And then I realized, researching isn't going to fix anything. Yes, I know a lot of info about what I have and about treatment options (which I didn't even need to worry about at that point, because it was already decided I was getting homeopathic treatment), but I couldn't cure myself. Knowing everything won't magically cure me.

So I stopped my researching, reading, and watching, just like that. Cold turkey.

Now I'm starting to do more again. Not really researching, but blog reading. Following others journeys. And it's helpful. Because I don't feel so alone anymore.

I do still do some searching, mostly when I have a new symptom come up. For example, swollen lymph nodes. And then I roll my eyes when a Lyme is listed as cause almost every time.